I kicked a goose, and I liked it!
Violence Jokes
(Me) Hey bro, tell me a joke!
(My friend) Your mom. *Starts Laughing*
(Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him*
At this moment, he knew he fucked up.
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Simple... you staple its mouth shut.
What happened to the woman who dated a rapist?
She was date raped.
Where did Sally go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
My dad hits me :(
Sally has no arms. She fell off the swing. Why? Someone threw a fridge at her. AAHAHAAAHHAHAH!
One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
A father and a son were painting pictures together. The son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T, and the son said, "What happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle. The father replied with, "You know what happened, you were there." The son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings. They're exactly the same.
The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the car.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?
What is red, bubbling, and scratching at a window?
A baby in the microwave.
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: A nun falling down the stairs.
My sister said, "Daddy can you pass the salt?" So I raped her.
What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?
My dick while I'm doing it.
What's red and white and lives in a blender?
A baby.
The school shooter when the cops show up be like:
"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."
What is white, black, and red and can't fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head!
