Violence jokes
My dad hits me :(
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
About to go on a date.
But she was late.
So I got some tape.
And eventually punished her with rape.
What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?
The tornado siren doesn't get raped.
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
A father and a son were painting pictures together. The son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T, and the son said, "What happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle. The father replied with, "You know what happened, you were there." The son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings. They're exactly the same.
The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: A nun falling down the stairs.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the car.
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What is red, bubbling, and scratching at a window?
A baby in the microwave.
My sister said, "Daddy can you pass the salt?" So I raped her.
What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?
My dick while I'm doing it.
What's red and white and lives in a blender?
A baby.
The school shooter when the cops show up be like:
"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"
So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
What's black, blue, and red, laying in a ditch?
You after you disrespect me.
What is white, black, and red and can't fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head!
A penis has a bad life. His neighbor is an asshole, his friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'