Violence jokes
Two boys are talking on the bus.
Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.
Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?
Boy 1: Oh, that's right.
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term "struggle snuggle."
My friend thinks he is funny.
He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.
What mental illness do terrorists suffer from?
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED).
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make a loud noise when thrown.
Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.
Doctor: Sex is good for you!
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've told her twice.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
How many babies does it take to cover a brick wall?
Depends on how hard you throw it. 😆😂😁
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
How do you break up two blind guys fighting?
Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
Rape victim: I want to die.
Man: Hang in there.
Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"
He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"
I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.
If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?
I started selling landmines disguised as prayer mats.
Prophets are through the roof!
I kicked a goose, and I liked it!
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....
How do terrorists feed their children?
Here comes the airplane.