Violence jokes

I love fire. My friends love it too. When I set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

How did Sally die?

She got shot.

So, I met this girl and she was a 9 out of 10. I met this other girl who was 7 years old. The 7-year-old ate my 9 out of 10 girl because 7 was a psychopath.

It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.

A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun.

The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: "Shut up... you're next!"

Violence against women is funny :)

I kicked the shit out of Little Johnny.

What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,

other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."

All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.

A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school, and the teacher replies, "Are you that same person who took Jimmy?"

The man replies, "Yes," and the teacher says, "Take Susie too; she's being a little bitch."

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

How hard can you throw them!

Guns control.

How do you make it hard for a rapist who is trying to rape you? Rub it.

What does Sonic say when he's bored?

Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

Don't mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.

Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J!" Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter "go buy yourself something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice!" They both look at Craig as he pulls out a letter. Craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THEIR BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throws down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Did you hear about the school shooting joke? Well, I won't tell you it's aimed at a younger audience.