Violence jokes
My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?
C4.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like they're going to tell their parents.
Memes
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their mummy?
The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!
You call it a school shooting.
I call it an unfair shootout.
I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
What do Americans call high school?
A shooting range.
Name what guns are used for. {wrong answers only?}
Guys, I'm back...
Here's my joke:
What is blue and red all over?
Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.
I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"
Sonic says if you're ever born, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?
Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
Not like they can tell their parents.