What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
Violence Jokes
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
Q: How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
A: She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
What do you call a terrorist at a cinema?
A box office bomb.
So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD
Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A. The little girl in my trunk.
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...
Well nvm, they shot him dead.
