Violence jokes

What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?

His arse.

Q: What is Chris Brown's #1 Hit? A: Rihanna

I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."

When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.

What did the orphan do when he got punched?

Nothing, because his parents weren't there! :)

If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

My brothers kept annoying me.

I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.

It was an empty threat—right after I was done.

How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?

With a blender.

What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?

The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.

When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"

People are like trees. They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?

They slash them.

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?

This car in RC-XD.

My therapist told me time heals wounds, so I stabbed him, and now we wait.

My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.

Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?

A: When they are falling from their balcony.

What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?

C4.

POV: The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.

:me😐

Two friends fighting.

Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"

Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."

We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.