Violence jokes

I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"

Sonic says if you're ever born, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?

Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

Not like they can tell their parents.

When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.

Q: What is Chris Brown's #1 Hit? A: Rihanna

I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."

Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.

How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?

It depends on how thin you slice them.

What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?

His arse.

True fact: School shooters aren’t dangerous to you if you're the school shooter.

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

POV: Your mum is a bomber.

What did the orphan do when he got punched?

Nothing, because his parents weren't there! :)

How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?

With a blender.

Get shanked with a lamb shank with a stinky pampa in the tolpan.

What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?

You cook spaghetti with his blood!

What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?

"Freak out!"

What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?

One won't scream when you remove their meat.