Violence jokes
My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.
My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!
It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.
This kid lost Kahoot, so he shot up the school.
Mother got shot, damn.
Father got shot, damn.
Sister got shot, damn.
Brother got shot, damn.
Auntie running away with a shotgun!
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I've got 5 fingers, she will get 2.
When you get a pop-up book of the Qur'an and it just explodes as soon as you turn the page XD.
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
Why do school shooters have the best shots?
They train at the best schools. 🤣🤣🧇🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather?
The feather.
The rope stopped the kid.
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎
Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.
What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.
What’s red, 11 inches, and makes my girlfriend cry when I slap her with it?
Her miscarriage.
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses.
His hunting buddy immediately calls 911. "My friend isn't breathing," he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?"
"Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got shot. Dumb bitch!
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.