I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.
What is the second hardest thing in the morning?
Getting up.
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape alarm. Optimistic
Why did the alarm go off when the emo and his friends left the store when they checked everything out? The emo forgot to roll his sleeves up.
man: hi doc, i have a problem. i take a shit at 6:00am every morning. doc: whats wrong with that. man: i dont wake up until 8:00am
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6AM but wake up at 7AM. And it's not even a joke.
When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you then they wake you up and say let’s team up like wtf
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn
Good morning
I was at a supermarket in Barcelona and I noticed the alarm had gone off. There was a thief at the store the tea bag section had been ransacked. Luckily they found the thief Pionel Pessi with boxes of his favourite tea,Penaltea. Shame on you Pessi.
What time is it when you say wake up? It is morning
What do you call a rapper who CAN’T GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING?
Snooze Dogg
there's a kid with loads of new fire men equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kids asks the firemen come have a look at my new gear so the fire men go look at his gear so then the kid says kid: I've got a helmet a big jacket and a oxygen tank and a little wheel barrow for my gear
firemen says: why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls the kid says so I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
What does it sound when a dragon sings? A fire alarm
Those rape alarms give you a headache don't they?
Are you a fire alarm because your loud and annoying
Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off
How do you kill time
Easy taking alarm clock and an assault rifle
An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. ̈You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you? ̈ The Cuban simply says, ̈See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap. ̈ The other passengers are reassured and respond with, ̈Oh, OK. ̈
The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. ̈You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you? ̈ The Russian simply states, ̈See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap. ̈ Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, ̈Ah, yes! Of course. ̈
The American scratches his head and goes, ̈I think I see the pattern here. ̈ So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window! ̈
