Super glue jokes

A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”

A happy mother: "Why is your sister so quiet?! And how did you get super glue stuck on your penis?!"

My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

My wife told me to pass her lip stick, but I gave her a glue stick. Now she is not talking to me.

Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.

Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?

A. Toothpaste.

If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,

They would be alloys.