Vehicle jokes
What is a pirate's favorite ride? A carrr!
What kind of shoes do kidnappers wear?
White vans.
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
Paul's favorite car.
A Carrera GT.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
What do you call a disabled kid on fire?
Hot wheels.
What do you call a Mexican who lost their car?
Carlos.
What color is your Bugatti?
She needs a flat surface cleaner.
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter.
A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.
Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.
Kill yourself in anyway. I'm doing it the HIGHway.
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?
They both take it in the back and go woop woop.
I set a wheelchair on fire and called it "Hot Wheels."