Ups jokes
Shup up, transparent hairline. Look like you got splashed by some clear soap.
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
Gwen, are you dead????? If not, I am Alya. Thanks for always standing up for me!!!!!!!!!!!
What's the definition of disgusting?
Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!
People with bad past end up creating the worst future...
Memes
In Ukraine, there was a massive wake-up call by Russia. But for some, the results were the opposite.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we werewolves?
Shut up and comb your face.
What do you call the sky? Up high, high! AHAHAHAHAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA
"Lock him up, you know, Trump!"
Pop-up. P
Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata, fuck up!
Your dad left you because he went for milk.
*1,000,000 years later*
Her: Dad come back!
Him: FBI open up!
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.
He really shook things up today.
Did you hear about the bad joke? No? It hasn't been made up yet. HAHAHAHAHAHA
I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.
It showed a picture of myself.
Never give up, 'cause never gonna give you up.
Never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna desert you.
Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?
He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.
A man came up to me and threatened me with his milk, cheese, and butter... how dairy!
One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.