Ups jokes

Please, this is disgusting. This is only men who think that it’s fun to do jokes about rape. It’s really fucking dramatic for a man/woman to get raped, so please just shut the fuck up!

Jack and Jill went up the hill to start to build the still for Jill.

Jack stopped and said to drunkin' Jill, "To build this still will take so long."

Jill said to Jack, "Well, f--k the still and kiss my ass, and watch me take another pill!"

Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!

What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.

What do you call a booty that tells jokes?

A crack-up!

What's up, bitches? Miss me?

I like my women like my coffee—ground up and frozen.

What goes up but never past the digits 15?

A Make-A-Wish kid...

Donibobes is an owl. (hehe look up donibobes YT!)

I had the BEST day EVER.

1: I woke up.

2: I met someone I'm sad about.

3: I had fun and got them back again online.

But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st... XD

I put my leg up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, I'm a flamingo...

The cop that is on a 12 o'clock shift says, "Hands up!"

What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?

What's the fastest way to Shepherd's Bush?

Up Shepherd's leg.

When did I wake up?

At the quack of dawn!

I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"

A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"

"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."

I drew a picture of Colby.

Too bad it got ripped up 😢

I had to stop drinking because I got tired of waking up in my car, driving 90.