Ups jokes

My sis came up to me and said, "Mom told me to take the trash out for the rest of the year."

"So, uh, you free tomorrow?" 😂

Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"

Eggs are so egg-cellent that they are sunny-side up.

I prank called someone and I said, "Is there a Missis Wall there?" They said no. Is there a Mr. Wall there? They said no. Are there any Walls there? They said no. Then what's holding up your building?

I waved to you before, but you never sea me because you're so washed up.

So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."

Q: Why do Skeletons hate the cold?

A: It sends chills up their spine.

Shut the hell up with all these Stephen Hawking jokes, hahah. I wanna kms.

Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.

The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"

A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"

I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."

Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?

Because there was no chemistry...

Yo, Rob, you forgot to pay me cause you sucky sucky my thang.

AKA, you're up for adoption.

You know what should give up and stay dead?

Fortnite.

If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?

He cracked up!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Maserati.

Maserati who?

Why don't you clean up this Maserati?

If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?

Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.

It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.

There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.

Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.

Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod