Ups jokes
What fell first, the feather or the depressed kid?
Q: The feather, the depressed kid is still up there.
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.
Memes
I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!
These jokes have a good build up, but in the end, they all come crashing down.
I've been drinking from a tall cup.
His teeth look like Twin Towers, Al-Qaeda blown him up.
What do emos do when they meet up?
They hang out.
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
You're so ugly, your class searched up Godfrey Baguma and all called out your name!
I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.
If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.
Why is the orphan happy when he wakes up from a coma?
Because there is a family reunion.
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
You know why eggs can't tell jokes?
They crack each other up!
Did you leave your hairline at the airplane, because it's going up?
I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.