Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
Ups Jokes
Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...
But a creeper blows it up.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
What do emos do when they meet up?
They hang out.
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.
If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.
Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero?
He woke up and found out it was true.
My heart broke as I went down the stairs, and my girlfriend broke her heart.
An orphan walked up to a baseball field, but a security guard said he couldn't come in because it was a home game.
I have had it up to here with you.
(Then there Hight.)
You know why eggs can't tell jokes?
They crack each other up!
Why is the orphan happy when he wakes up from a coma?
Because there is a family reunion.
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
What's a deaf kid's favorite words?
"Shut up."
When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.
But you know you live alone.
You're so ugly, your class searched up Godfrey Baguma and all called out your name!
I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
