Handicap

Handicap Jokes

Pool

What do you call a pool full of handicapped people?

Vegetable soup.

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  • Woman

    Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?

    IHOP.

    Race

    I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.

    Gravity sure is fast.

    Bathroom

    I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.

    Micheal Jackson

    Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."

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  • Song

    What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”

    What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”

    What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”

    Argument

    I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend; she can't stand for herself.

    Man

    Why do you call a man that is physically handicapped and German?

    A physically handicapped bisexual man that is promiscuous and German.

    Caregiver

    What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?

    Caregiver.

    Man

    What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?

    Mixed nuts.

    President

    A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.

    And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"

    Orphan

    What did the blind, deaf, mentally handicapped orphan get for Christmas?

    Cancer.

    Woman

    I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.

    Fun

    A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.

    Patient

    I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital.

    Just to test their patients.

    Nationalist

    What is meals on wheels to a Christian nationalist that is also a conservative Republican politician, a gay man in a wheelchair that is poor and also physically handicapped, and who is also well-endowed?

    Gay Men

    What do physically handicapped gay men do after they are done belching? They wipe their mouths on their light blue handkerchiefs after they are done sucking cocks.

    Car

    Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?

    All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.

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  • Blowjob

    Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?