Two jokes
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
Well on the positive side: the Mexicans will probably want to pay for, and build, that wall at this point! Maybe the Canadians as well; two free walls!
Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.
My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.
Memes
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.
I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
Genders are like the Twin Towers because there used to be two, now it's just a sensitive subject.
What do you call two AI systems that are in love with each other? Member of chat LGBT.
What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?
At least the mountain has two hills.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
What do you call two black lads in gold?
A Twix.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not the two Twin Towers.
So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.
Why are New Yorkers so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers!
The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.