I hate these double standards.
If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
What’s Bin Laden’s favorite drink? Double Manhattan.
Having homosexual parents must be terrible.
Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".
What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A Double Manhattan.
Yo mama is so stupid, she shoved two double A batteries up her butt and said, “I’ve got the power!”
If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.
Double!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Triple!
Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
What do you call a fat Chinese man?
A double chinkey.
My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
Fat people are the reason we have double doors.
Yo mama's so fat, she invented double doors!
yo mama so fat her yearbook picture was a double page spread
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus,the bartender says "Don't you mean a Martini?"the Roman then says "Look,if I want a double I'll ask for one.
I have double standards, burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus "Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender. The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
You're built like a double cheeseburger.
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell em for double the price!
You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.
