Double jokes

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

You are the reason double doors were invented.

What do you call someone with notorious special needs and an extra chromosome?

The double trouble.

When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.

My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.

If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Double whammy.

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.

I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.

Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"

My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.

When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...

Unbelievable! When doctors touch my body, it’s alright, but if I do the same to some lady, apparently it’s "harassment!"

Hi, I got fired. Oh, don't know which fire? Oh, the one that I got burned on, the volcano.

Why do Orphans sleep in a double bed?

Because their parents can't!

Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.

So, this kid told me what high school he was going to and asked me if I thought he would make it in.

I said, "No, they don't have double doors."

Yo mama so fat her yearbook picture was a double-page spread.

Yo mama's so fat, she invented double doors!

For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.

You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.

Time for double joke Tuesday.

What is a bird's favorite letter?

A C gull.

So I won a round of CSGO with my team, then on VC, some kid trash talked me.

Kid: You're a dick, you know!

Me: And you're a pussy, you know?

Fat people are the reason we have double doors.