Two jokes
Q: If there were two moo cows walking down the street, where would they be going?
A: Home to see their mama!
What are two things orphans can’t have?
Parents.
I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."
Which one's super super corny?
1. What's blue and not heavy? (🤔) Light blue.
2. What's blue and super hard to see?
Dark blue. (🤔)
Two (DYM 112)
Memes
care to explain bitch? it seems thats what youre good at
Stephen Hawking talks by clicks. Two clicks is "hi," and five is "dab me up."
My sister lost two things today:
1: Her virginity.
2: Her job at the zoo.
Q: What do you get from a two-legged cow? A: Lean beef.
There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"
I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...
I was two tired.
Daveon is so straight, he thinks a straight line is the shortest distance between two points and nothing else.
The last two presidents of the US.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.
Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?
Option one: Horses can't speak at all.
Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
Two towers.
I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.