Two jokes

What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?

The Twin Towers.

What did Osama have?

Two Boeings and a dream.

Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. 🤭

Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"

The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."

Two lepers meet on the street.

First says "How are you doing?"

Second says "Mustn't crumble!"

Stephen Hawking talks by clicks. Two clicks is "hi," and five is "dab me up."

If I had two nickels every time PETA parodied a game, I'd have 14.

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.

What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?

Kid's.

What do you call two emos spending time together?

Hanging out.

Q: Two skeletons walk into a bar. What happens?

A: They fall.

(They walked into a BAR, as in a rod or whatnot.)

My sister lost two things today:

1: Her virginity.

2: Her job at the zoo.

I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."

Q: If there were two moo cows walking down the street, where would they be going?

A: Home to see their mama!

Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.

The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.

What are two things orphans can’t have?

Parents.

Q: What do you get from a two-legged cow? A: Lean beef.

There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"

I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...

I was two tired.