Two jokes
Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. 🤭
Two lepers meet on the street.
First says "How are you doing?"
Second says "Mustn't crumble!"
What did Osama have?
Two Boeings and a dream.
Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.
First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”
Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”
It must be tiring to put makeup on two faces.
I found two of the same Lego Duplo sets, so I called ‘em “Duplocates.”
These two guys were texting each other.
Guy 1: How are you?
Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*
Guy 1: ???
Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
If I had two nickels every time PETA parodied a game, I'd have 14.
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
What do you call two emos spending time together?
Hanging out.
Stephen Hawking talks by clicks. Two clicks is "hi," and five is "dab me up."
Which one's super super corny?
1. What's blue and not heavy? (🤔) Light blue.
2. What's blue and super hard to see?
Dark blue. (🤔)
Two (DYM 112)
Q: If there were two moo cows walking down the street, where would they be going?
A: Home to see their mama!
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
What are two things orphans can’t have?
Parents.
I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?