Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" -- The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."
The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.
Woman one: I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell! Woman two: Did that work? Woman one: Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house.
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew forty bucks in there."
Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.
Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.
Why was three afraid of two? Because he killed every one!
so two condoms walk by a gay bar, what does one condom say to the other, "hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
What happed when the emo went through the self checkout two beeps went off.
I used to be a banker but I lost interest...
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired)
two lesbians adopted a cat that night the cat ran away why ?
because it heard one say i'm gonna eat that pussy
The definition of a stalker is two people going on a romantic walk but only one person knows about it.
What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory? Two test tickles.
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
Yo mama like a penny: two faced, worthless and in everybody’s pants
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."
The twin towers are like genders, there used to be two of them
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"
Man looks at his friend and says "if you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt would you tell anyone? " The friend says im a disgusted tone "No" So the man says "ok let's go camping"
