Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" -- The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."
The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.
Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”
Woman one: I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell! Woman two: Did that work? Woman one: Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew forty bucks in there."
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.
Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.
so two condoms walk by a gay bar, what does one condom say to the other, "hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
What happed when the emo went through the self checkout two beeps went off.
Three men are outside Heaven's gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them "Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven".
The first guy says "I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times". The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says "11 years and only once" and is granted a Mercedes.
The last man says "20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart" and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse".
The guy looks up and says "How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard"
I used to be a banker but I lost interest...
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired)
The definition of a stalker is two people going on a romantic walk but only one person knows about it.
two lesbians adopted a cat that night the cat ran away why ?
because it heard one say i'm gonna eat that pussy
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
