An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, "You guys should know your limits."
Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it a genie came out and said "You have 10 seconds to have one wish". Little Johny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family and his sister doesn't believe it. After having a drink she says, "We should have this every night!". Little Johny gets two cups every night one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives on himself and his sister asks, "Wheres my cup?". little Johny replied, "Your drinking out of the bottle tonight".
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball Juan on juan
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex? A microtransaction.
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible but the reception was great!
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
What do you say to a women with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've told her twice.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
A receptionist at the twin towers order two pepperoni pizza's, she was upset when she got two planes.
what job do you want if you dont want peoples two since
a catholic priest
Two wrongs don't make a right, but what do to wrights make? The first airplane.
Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today" and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron". Then the first atom said "How Ionic"
Your mom's so fat that One Punch Man had to take two punches.
It's not rape if she doesn't say no
Two options: - Chloroform - Duct Tape
The twin towers and genders have alot in common, there used to be two and now.. its just a touchy subject.
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws? -- It was given two consecutive sentences.
What do you call two Mexicans in a sleeping bag?
"A Twix."
two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal....Does he taste funny to you?
