TV jokes
What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
What TV series do orphans hate?
"House, M.D."
What was JFK's favorite school TV show?
BrainPop.
Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.
So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!
What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?
"Drop it, Jamal!"
What did the police say on the TV during 9/11?
"Call 911!"
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.
His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"
What award does the Demogorgon get? A Emmygorgon.
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.
I'm not racist, I have a colored TV.
What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.
What's an African's favorite TV show?
Meal Or No Meal!
What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?
One makes your day and one makes your whole week.
Do you know what the equivalent to hell is these days?
1. Listening to your teacher.
2. Not having your phone/game/TV.
3. Not having nicotine.
What is an orphan's favorite TV show?
"Alone."
I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.
Do they say you are what you eat?
That makes Bulma a VEGETARIAN if u know what I'm SAIYAN.
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"