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TV jokes

One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.

His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.

The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.

The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"

As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.

Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.

What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.

What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?

One makes your day and one makes your whole week.

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    • Do you know what the equivalent to hell is these days?

    1. Listening to your teacher.

    2. Not having your phone/game/TV.

    3. Not having nicotine.

    I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.

    Do they say you are what you eat?

    That makes Bulma a VEGETARIAN if u know what I'm SAIYAN.

    I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

    TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.

    Father: Guns cause all these problems!

    Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*

    Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y

    Bo: Hey kids, I am so sad that you won’t exercise and give me Bo power, so I am just going to be an orphan.

    Kids changing the channel to Annie.

    Annie: Tomorrow, tomorrow, only a day away.

    TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go.

    Dezzy: WAAAAAAAAAA, I can’t find Bo!

    Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

    Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

    I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

    What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

    Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

    What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

    What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

    What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

    Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.

    What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

    Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

    What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.

    Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

    Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

    So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"

    So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.