TV

TV jokes

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.

His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.

The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.

The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"

As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.

Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.

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    • What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.

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    • What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?

    One makes your day and one makes your whole week.

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    • Do you know what the equivalent to hell is these days?

    1. Listening to your teacher.

    2. Not having your phone/game/TV.

    3. Not having nicotine.

    I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.

    Do they say you are what you eat?

    That makes Bulma a VEGETARIAN if u know what I'm SAIYAN.

    I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

    TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.

    Father: Guns cause all these problems!

    Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*

    Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y

    Bo: Hey kids, I am so sad that you won’t exercise and give me Bo power, so I am just going to be an orphan.

    Kids changing the channel to Annie.

    Annie: Tomorrow, tomorrow, only a day away.

    TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go.

    Dezzy: WAAAAAAAAAA, I can’t find Bo!