TV Jokes

Why do people hate Velma now?

Because she joined the Dark Side.

TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"

Orphans: "Yea."

I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"

Yo mama so fat, when she passed by the TV, I missed a whole season of SpongeBob.

My orphan terrorist friend is on TV... I think he blew up.

What do orphans and TVs have in common?

At least one of them has a home.

The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.

"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"

So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."

One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.

Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

What's the worst TV series for orphans?

Family Guy.

My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.

What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.

What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?

Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.

What TV series do orphans hate?

"House, M.D."

What was JFK's favorite school TV show?

BrainPop.

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?

"Drop it, Jamal!"

What did the police say on the TV during 9/11?

"Call 911!"

One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.

His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.

The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.

The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"

What award does the Demogorgon get? A Emmygorgon.