25+ Award Jokes

The guy who made the knock knock joke deserves a no-bell prize.

Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?

He won a no-bell prize.

Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?

Yes, best comedy award.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

I got an Xbox achievement the other day. It said "Trash Master," and everyone looked at me at the funeral.

A cat turns its head in surprise, with a shadowy figure in the background. Text above reads: "What's the wildest place you've masturbated in??" Text below reads: "Turn around."

I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!

I'm lookin' for some good jokes for the best song award. Can y'all help a fellow out?

The person that created the knock knock joke won the Nobel reward.

Gaston gets the no-Belle prize! :D

And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey.

To remind him what color his piss is meant to be.

What did the captain of the Titanic do before the Titanic sunk?

He nominated everyone for the ice bucket awards.

Did you hear about the guy who invented the first knock knock joke?

He won the No Bell Prize!

Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

Because he wanted to win no-bell prize!

Q: What did the person who invented the door knocker get?

A: A no-bell prize.

What's the difference between Lana Del Rey and Milli Vanilli?

Milli Vanilli won a Grammy.

Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.

A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds.

An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move. The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest. I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive."

But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happened to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. The ranger said: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now." Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it - if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man. Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered: "He said, 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"