Tree jokes
Somewhere out there, a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for BLESSEDBRIAN. I think he owes it an apology.
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
I am the Lorax. I speak for trees. I have the high ground, and I will cut off your knees.
A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".
The tree never responded; it left him hanging.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
Oh, the monkeys in the trees, they dance and they play, Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, they chatter all day. Their tails so long, their hands so fine, they swing and they sway, In the trees, they're the kings of the fray.
Their antics bring joy, their laughter so free, They're a delight to watch, as they jump and they spree. Their mischief is contagious, their fun so true, They're a treasure, a gift to me and you.
Their little hands so deft, their feet so light, They swing through the trees, with grace and might. They're a wonder, a marvel to see, A precious gift, a treasure to me.
Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
"Where do young trees go to learn?"
"Elementree school."
What did the tree say when spring finally arrived?
"What a re-leaf."
How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
Why shouldn't you trust trees? Because they seem shady.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
Who's the closest family member to Paul Walker?
Answer: The tree.
Why do apple trees like emo kids?
Because they like to play yoyo with them.
My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.