Tree jokes
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
What do you call an orphan’s family tree?
A stump.
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
Hey, that tree's growing!
What were Paul Walker's last words?
I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?
"Family strong, but not that strong."
Can I pin your corpse to a tree?
Me and my emo group were walking down to the tree and somebody yelled, "Don't leave me!"
What's the difference between an umbrella and a tree?
I don't know.
My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.
What did a tree say to the tomato?
Nothing! Trees don't talk, silly.
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
You were supposed to be born in the tree.
The sticks were your siblings.
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
Why doesn't Newton cut trees in vanilla Minecraft? Because he wants Minecraft to be realistic!
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
Why have there been so many deaths around the world?
Trees and ropes.