Tree jokes
This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."
Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?
If a woodchuck could chuck wood?
As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck,
If a woodchuck could chuck wood.
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
What do rednecks find when they research their family tree?
Their INCESTors!
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
What's big and white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
What do you call a depressed tree?
A wood cutter.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
Do trees shit?
Well, how else would we get #2 pencils?
The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
What do you call an orphan’s family tree?
A stump.
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
Hey, that tree's growing!