Tree jokes
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.
What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!
Trees are just bushes with lift kits.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
What tree is every emo kid trying to find?
The hanging tree.
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
What did the tree do when the bank closed?
It started its own branch.
If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?
Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. 😀
What's a rapper's favorite kind of tree?
CYPRESS HILL.
Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"
Somewhere out there, a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for BLESSEDBRIAN. I think he owes it an apology.
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
I am the Lorax. I speak for trees. I have the high ground, and I will cut off your knees.
A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".
The tree never responded; it left him hanging.