Tree

Tree jokes

Dark Humor

I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.

What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?

The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!

Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?

Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.

How do you lift a depressed person up?

No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.

If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?

Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. 😀

Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"

Somewhere out there, a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for BLESSEDBRIAN. I think he owes it an apology.

Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?

A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.

I am the Lorax. I speak for trees. I have the high ground, and I will cut off your knees.

A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".

The tree never responded; it left him hanging.