Tree jokes
Why doesn't Newton cut trees in vanilla Minecraft? Because he wants Minecraft to be realistic!
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
Why have there been so many deaths around the world?
Trees and ropes.
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
Answer: The family tree!
Yo momma's so stupid, her family tree is a telephone pole.
What did the fat guy say to the tree?
"Get me some coconuts!"
Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?
A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.
What's the similarity between an emotional and a leaf?
The emo is still hanging.
I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.
What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?
The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.
Don’t orphans work at Dollar Tree?
Cause it’s a family business.
"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."
"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all
Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock
when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"
Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?
An orphan.
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)
I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"