Tree jokes
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
Answer: The family tree!
Yo momma's so stupid, her family tree is a telephone pole.
What did the fat guy say to the tree?
"Get me some coconuts!"
Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?
A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.
What's the similarity between an emotional and a leaf?
The emo is still hanging.
I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.
What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?
The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.
Don’t orphans work at Dollar Tree?
Cause it’s a family business.
"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."
"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all
Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock
when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"
Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?
An orphan.
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)
I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.
If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?
The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.