Travel jokes

I sat down and reminisced about the past. I remembered all the people I've lost along the way.

Maybe becoming a tour guide wasn't a good idea.

I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"

Why did the Italian cross the road?

C'era un uliveto.

The best way to enjoy Port Arthur is to shoot through--a quote by comedian Isaac Butterfield.

The reason your dad never came back with the milk is 'cause he ran 88 mph downhill.

"Back To The Future"-Doc: You can time travel to anytime in HISTORY, Marty, but NEVER go to the year 2021.....

What is the difference between cunnilingus and a confused Parisian tourist?

One lapses into French, the other Frenches into laps.

A man walks into an AA meeting and asks for a roadmap.

There's a plane crash. Every single person died.

Who lived? The married people!

"You think THAT'S bad?!? Remember the time I was in Paris with Donny de Francovich?"

"Nepal is a good place because it has been a great time for me."

Should we go to America for treatment?

We stayed in Essen and then left.

Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search,” as they would say.

By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving.

I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes.

During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean, and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up.

Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.

Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.

One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.

I'm in school right now, but I'm on an airplane.

A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.

When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"

Breaking News! A plane crashes into a bridge.

How did Sally get a free trip to Hawaii? She washed up on shore.

Daughter: Where was I born?

Dad: Alabama.

Daughter: That is nice.

Mum: We have never been to Alabama.

Dad: RUN!

A customer asked me to look at their hairline. I time traveled back to the dinosaurs.