Transportation jokes
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
I was riding my bike down the road!
When a car started coming, I started running.
It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)
Q: What's yellow and can't swim?
A: A school bus full of children.
My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building, so he had a much better flying record.
What did the bus driver say to the car?
"What is your address?"
Memes
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Why did the bike fall over?
It was too tired.
How do you get 500 drunk TTC people out? "Ah, on fire, a warning shot." "Uhhh sir, it's a M92 mortar." "Ah, just fire the shot!" Please get out before you get triggered from the pool and you have no clothes showing your nono parts. Oh wait, please get out of the pool drunk people. Potato, potatoes, fire ze shot.
My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get the Chinese Daily!
Get it? I don't either--I get the New York Times!
Mosely in a white van.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
What do you call an Arab flying a plane?
A pilot.
You racist fuck!
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it's the "R," but it's really the "C."
What word starts with “F” and ends in “uck”?
Firetruck.
What's yellow and can't swim? A school bus full of orphans.
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of orphans.