Transportation jokes
A boy asked his dad for some money to buy an ice cream with, so he went to an ice cream van. Whilst he was in the queue, two boys asked him what flavor he was getting. He told them "strawberry." The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The ice cream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice cream for free.
When he got home, his dad also asked what flavor he bought. The boy said "strawberry." His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy, confused, walked down the street and was stopped by the police, who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice cream. The boy said, "That's me," and the policeman arrested him.
A week later in court, the boy was on trial. The judge asked, "Can you tell me what were you doing on the fifth of May?" (the day he was arrested) The boy said, "I was eating ice cream." The judge decided he was innocent. On the way out, the judge asked him what the flavor was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course, he answered with "strawberry." The judge, horrified, realized he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately, he couldn't change what had happened, so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died.
The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road.
Why couldn't the penguin cross the road?
It was ran over. π§
What is the difference between a human and a magic car?
A magic car can fly, and a human cannot fly.
What is the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage. :)
Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.
The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."
Memes
Two people were on a boat. They were afloat on water!
What has two tires and no engine? A magic house π‘
Why did the Chicken cross the road? You: Why? To get to the little b***h's house!
Knock knock! You: Who's there? The chicken!
What is the same with a duck and a bicycle? The handlebars--oh, except for the duck.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream?
He was hit by an ice cream truck.
Your hairline is so wonky, "Wheels on the Bus" goes round and round on your hairline.
Yo mama so stupid that she thought Subway was a place where you buy subways.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the Mooovies.
Me: Hi Kallen.
Kallen: Hi.
Me: You're too big to fit in my car.
Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Fuck you, that's why.
Yooooooooooooooooooooooo!
What's green and has wheels?
Grass, I was just lying about the wheels.
What's green and has wheels? Grass.
I was just lying about the wheels.
My [blank] is long and yellow that can't swim.
A school bus full of children.