Transportation jokes
Why did the car fall asleep?
Because he was too tired.
Q) What did the airplane say to the little boy?
A) Nothing, airplanes don't talk!
What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human can walk and you can drive.
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
Plane crash in China... pilots names released in the incident are as follows:
Sum Ting Wong.
Wei Toh Low.
Ho Lee Fuk.
Ban Din Ouch.
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
Why is my plane delayed?
Because someone hit the Sears Tower.
What begins in F and ends in UCK?
Fire truck.
Me: Let's go to Randy's.
Friend: There's no Randy's.
Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
Today; worst day ever.
My annoying sibling got hit by a train, and I lost my job as a conductor.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
If you're serious, congratulations on getting this far in life with absolutely no comprehension of reality.
If you had this kind of knowledge about driving a car, you'd be sitting 30 feet away from it, throwing pieces of pickles at a barn and shouting ‘shazam’ into an empty iPhone case, wondering why the car wasn't moving.
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
Why did the chicken ride across town? Because he was being taken to Tyson.
I know a Chinese joy rider, Tommy Tookamotor.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].