Transportation jokes
What begins in F and ends in UCK?
Fire truck.
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
What is the difference between snow boots and snow boots and walk home?
I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any--let's just say I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why did the car fall asleep?
Because he was too tired.
I had a dream about a car, and I woke up exhausted.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
Q) What did the airplane say to the little boy?
A) Nothing, airplanes don't talk!
What's Yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of dead babies.
Today; worst day ever.
My annoying sibling got hit by a train, and I lost my job as a conductor.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
If you're serious, congratulations on getting this far in life with absolutely no comprehension of reality.
If you had this kind of knowledge about driving a car, you'd be sitting 30 feet away from it, throwing pieces of pickles at a barn and shouting ‘shazam’ into an empty iPhone case, wondering why the car wasn't moving.
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
Why did the chicken ride across town? Because he was being taken to Tyson.
I know a Chinese joy rider, Tommy Tookamotor.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.