Transportation jokes

I had a dream about a car, and I woke up exhausted.

Why did the car fall asleep?

Because he was too tired.

Today; worst day ever.

My annoying sibling got hit by a train, and I lost my job as a conductor.

Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.

If you're serious, congratulations on getting this far in life with absolutely no comprehension of reality.

If you had this kind of knowledge about driving a car, you'd be sitting 30 feet away from it, throwing pieces of pickles at a barn and shouting ‘shazam’ into an empty iPhone case, wondering why the car wasn't moving.

A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.

The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"

The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."

The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"

The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."

At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."

The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."

Why did the chicken ride across town? Because he was being taken to Tyson.

I know a Chinese joy rider, Tommy Tookamotor.

Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.

Who's the bus driver?

You will never nose [know].

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?

He got hit by a bus.

The Titanic was going through the ocean. Chuck Norris was on the ship, and they never crashed into an iceberg. He just shat off the front of the ship!

"You are stupid. You can’t even ride a baby pony!"

What is the difference between a human being in the car?

What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?

A school bus filled with children.

What time is it when you get home and you can't walk?

What did the bus driver say to the car?

"What is your address?"

Why did the bike fall over?

Because it was two tired!

I was riding my bike down the road!

When a car started coming, I started running.

It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)