Transportation jokes
Where is the building I was in, and why is there a plane?
What do you call a terrible bus company?
Stagecoach Highlands.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
What did the bus driver say to the lady with one leg?
Hop on.
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.
Witches do not wear undies. Why? To get a better grip on their broomsticks.
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces? Boeing boeing boeing.
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage...
Why did the frog cross the road to hop to his side, Bih?
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of disabled children.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To become roadkill.
Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.
Why was the train late?
It kept getting sidetracked.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."