Transportation jokes
Breaking News! A plane crashes into a bridge.
Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.
What's Yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of dead babies.
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human can walk and you can drive.
I'm in school right now, but I'm on an airplane.
Why did the car fall asleep?
Because he was too tired.
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
Today; worst day ever.
My annoying sibling got hit by a train, and I lost my job as a conductor.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
If you're serious, congratulations on getting this far in life with absolutely no comprehension of reality.
If you had this kind of knowledge about driving a car, you'd be sitting 30 feet away from it, throwing pieces of pickles at a barn and shouting ‘shazam’ into an empty iPhone case, wondering why the car wasn't moving.
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
Why did the chicken ride across town? Because he was being taken to Tyson.
I know a Chinese joy rider, Tommy Tookamotor.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
The Titanic was going through the ocean. Chuck Norris was on the ship, and they never crashed into an iceberg. He just shat off the front of the ship!
"You are stupid. You can’t even ride a baby pony!"