How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
What road goes all the way to the sky? A highway.
Canβt believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to βfuck off.β In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.
Where do sick boats go? The dock!
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
Call me an elevator, because I let people down.
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
Me dozing off while driving.
Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
Two boys are talking on the bus.
Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.
Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?
Boy 1: Oh, that's right.
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
Life as an elevator has its ups and downs.
What does a bouncy airplane sound like?
Boeing Boeing Boeing...
