Transportation jokes
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?
Doctor: The morgue.
Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!
Doctor: And we're not there yet!
I like fire trucks and monster trucks.
One day, Billy cow wandered off to the railroad tracks where his mother always told him not to go. His mother asked him where he had gone when he got home. He replied that he was just going for a graze. His neighbor later told his mother he had saw him at the railroad tracks. What would you call Billy cow now?
Ground Beef.
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
Out in new whip
Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?
What's big and yellow...?
A bus full of kids.
What did the beer can say to the other? "Open me, please!"
What did the coconut say to the other? "Crack!"
Why did the jalapeño cross the road? I got spicy!
Why did the hubcap cross the road? Crack!
Why jazz, Jr. Get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the tornado cross the road? Let’s spin again!
Why did the turkey get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the bunny get to the side of the road? Get furry!
What vehicle does a frog 🐸 drive?
The Beetle!
Why do you pay cash for the metro train in Newcastle upon Tyne?
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.
Yeah, so why can't a blind woman drive?
Exactly, cuz she's a woman.
Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?
Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH
What is your car you cannot drive? A super flying car!
Yo mama is so fat she can't even get in her own car because she's fat.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
My son always said he wanted to skydive, so we went on a plane, and mid-flight, we had to jump out. The only issue is we were on a commercial flight to Arizona.
I had a dream I was a muffler last night...
I woke up EXHAUSTED! 😂😃
How do you get 500 drunk TTC people out? "Ah, on fire, a warning shot." "Uhhh sir, it's a M92 mortar." "Ah, just fire the shot!" Please get out before you get triggered from the pool and you have no clothes showing your nono parts. Oh wait, please get out of the pool drunk people. Potato, potatoes, fire ze shot.