Transportation jokes
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
Kill yourself in any way. I'm killing myself the HIGHway.
I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.
Helicopters...
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
The driving instructor.
What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?
Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂
What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?
Hot Wheels.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a train.
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.