What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?
Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a train.
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
What road goes all the way to the sky? A highway.
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage.
I lost the case.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.
Where do sick boats go? The dock!
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
