What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.
Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.
Americans be like: "Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road."
England be like: "Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road."
Russians after a car accident be like: "Here in Russia, road is road."
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
I rode to the bottle shop on my bike yesterday. I bought a whole bottle of wine and put it in the basket on the front of my bike.
Then I thought, if I fell off my bike on the way back home, it would smash and shatter. So I drank all the wine and threw away the bottle.
It was a good idea, because I fell off my bike about four times on the way back.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
Kill yourself in any way. I'm killing myself the HIGHway.
