Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad.
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
Kill yourself in any way. I'm killing myself the HIGHway.
I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a train.
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?
Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
