Transportation jokes
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
What is a bus ride that is dumb? A boring one.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.
What's big and yellow and can't swim? A bus filled with children.
When is a car not a car?
When it's a house.
Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!
What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because they can't.
What do you call a man who lost his car??
Carlos
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.
The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."
Someone went to fly and thought of pizza.
Why do you pay cash for the metro train in Newcastle upon Tyne?
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"
The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
haha why couldn't the bike stand up because it was too tired.
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.