Transportation jokes
How did the fat person cross the road?
It rolled.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Your hair line is curved like a moving train.
Why was the giraffe late to work?
Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.
What's the difference between a submarine and Madeline McCann?
They are both full of seamen and at the bottom of the sea.
What is the difference between a school bus and a baseball?
You can throw a baseball, and you can’t throw a school bus.
East Richmond had a train station, but Richmond is better, why?
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.
What is the difference between a tree 🌲 and a car 🚘?
A car can drive, and a tree 🌳 cannot drive.
Once a mustang, always a mustang. - Mr. Shaw
If you're serious, congratulations on getting this far in life with absolutely no comprehension of reality.
If you had this kind of knowledge about driving a car, you'd be sitting 30 feet away from it, throwing pieces of pickles at a barn and shouting ‘shazam’ into an empty iPhone case, wondering why the car wasn't moving.
What do you call a Mexican without a car?
Carlos.
Are you a train because I want to get railed by you? ;)
Were you born on the highway? That is where most accidents happen.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
Yo momma so dumb, she got kicked off the short bus.
What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.