Transportation jokes
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
A woman.
What's the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
The poop on the bus goes poopoopoopoo AHHHH! All day long.
How do bees get to school?
They go on a school buzz.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side.
What did the traffic light say to the other?
🚦🚥🚦 Stop looking, I'm changing!
A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him. The first man says, "I have been waiting to cross here for ages. It's impossible to cross."
The second man says, "There is a zebra crossing up the road." He said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am!"
Person: Did you hear about the black chick on the front of the bus?
Friend: No?
Person: Exactly.
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Where is the building I was in, and why is there a plane?
How does the zebra cross the road?
The zebra crossing.
So last night I went on a taxi and I showed them your photo. All they said was I could ride him, it would be expensive though, since from his eyebrows to hairline is at least £100.
I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm getting over it.
If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?
Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
A. Because he got hit by a truck.
Why did the child drop their ice cream?
They got hit by a bus.
Witches do not wear undies. Why? To get a better grip on their broomsticks.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”