Transportation jokes
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?
A tire.
(A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? No? I'm lonely. Add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)
I gave her a lift back to her crib because her car wouldn’t start.
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
Omg my 34 week old chicken literally climbed onto my scooter Saturday. Pure gold 👌😂
What's the difference between a humorous bully and a small van driver? One takes the Mickey, the other takes the Minnie.
Q: What's yellow and can't swim?
A: A school bus full of children.
You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.
My dick hard.
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
What's the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a sports car in my garage.
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.
Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the chicken.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?
Skip.
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
What do you call a Flying Pilot? Because he can go pee on the plane!
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To get to the other side of the TRACK.