Transportation jokes
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
What can you not ride with two wheelchairs? A burger 🍔 one wheelchair.
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
What road goes all the way to the sky? A highway.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
Why did the toilet paper not make it across the street?
'Cause it got stuck in a pothole!
What do you call a terrible bus company?
Stagecoach Highlands.
So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.
How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?
- Pokémon
What did the beer can say to the other? "Open me, please!"
What did the coconut say to the other? "Crack!"
Why did the jalapeño cross the road? I got spicy!
Why did the hubcap cross the road? Crack!
Why jazz, Jr. Get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the tornado cross the road? Let’s spin again!
Why did the turkey get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the bunny get to the side of the road? Get furry!
I love playing zebra crossing, but I always get run over.
Why do orphans ride the bus? Because they have no parents to drop them off.
Uber driver: .........
Me: .........
Uber driver: .........
Me: 5 stars.
What's green and has wheels?
Grass, I was just lying about the wheels.
What is long, yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What do you call a school bus driver that cannot walk? A silly school bus driver!
What's white, yellow and goes 40 mph?
A train driver's egg sandwich.
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
What is a plane ✈️ that can not fly?
A fake one ☝️