Transportation jokes
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
What do you call a plane with no wings?
Sally.
Wheels on the bus go round and round Round and round round and round Wheels on the bus go round and round All through the town.
Horn on the bus goes beep beep beep Beep beep beep beep beep beep Horn on the bus goes beep beep beep All through the town.
The sheep on the bus goes baa baa baa Baa baa baa baa baa baa The sheep on the bus goes baa baa baa All through the town.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
What's worse than 10 babies in a truck?
One baby in 10 trucks.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get the Chinese Daily!
Get it? I don't either--I get the New York Times!
Kill yourself in any way. I'm killing myself the HIGHway.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
Why did Billy drop his ice cream?
'Cause he got hit by a bus.
Why did Little Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.
I know a good airplane joke, but it will probably go over your head.
Twin Towers: "No, it won't."
What road goes all the way to the sky? A highway.
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
What's the difference between a humorous bully and a small van driver? One takes the Mickey, the other takes the Minnie.
What did one plane say to the other?
"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."
Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?
A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.
Americans be like: "Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road."
England be like: "Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road."
Russians after a car accident be like: "Here in Russia, road is road."
My ex got hit by a bus yesterday. I nearly lost my job.
Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"