Transportation jokes
"SCOOT WANT TAXI!" Ok, maybe I do but can't make it there because yo mama is so fat he can't hear me on the other side.
One day, Billy cow wandered off to the railroad tracks where his mother always told him not to go. His mother asked him where he had gone when he got home. He replied that he was just going for a graze. His neighbor later told his mother he had saw him at the railroad tracks. What would you call Billy cow now?
Ground Beef.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To get to the rear end.
Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?
Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."
"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.
"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."
The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"
The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"
Anyone seen these lately?
What do you call a school bus driver that cannot walk? A silly school bus driver!
What's the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
Gays are always welcome on my Redneck Party Bus. NOT!
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
Why did Sally decide to fly to school?
She couldn't drive.
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
Why did the plane crash in the ocean? Because the pilot saw steward Undercut!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get ran over by a truck.
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
I almost got run over by a car.
For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.
Plane crash in China... pilots names released in the incident are as follows:
Sum Ting Wong.
Wei Toh Low.
Ho Lee Fuk.
Ban Din Ouch.
Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.