Transportation jokes
Why don't dwarfs have cars?
Because they can't get in the door.
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
Were you born on the highway? 'Cause that's where most accidents happen.
I don't have a carbon footprint; I just drive everywhere.
"Learn to fly a plane," they said. "It'll be fun," they said...
Your forehead is so big you can land a jumbo jet on it.
Which train is loaded with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train.
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"
Why did the man go across the train tracks to get to the other side?
Jimmy: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Joe: Why?
Jimmy: To get to the idiot’s house.
Jimmy: Knock knock.
Joe: Who’s there?
Jimmy: It’s the chicken.
I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.
Yo mama so fat, when she went on the elevator, it went down.
Yo momma's teeth so yellow, when she smiled at traffic, all the cars slowed down.
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
I yo yo-yo yo-yo yo-yo, yo-yo yo-yo you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you ha! Frick, fuck, gosh dang, you’re so big that you can’t ride. This is Builder.
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.