Transportation jokes
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"
Why was the duck fired from the train station?
He was a bad conducktor!
Were you born on the highway? That is where most accidents happen.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
The driving instructor.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a truck.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not a poo, you're a poo.
Yo mama so fat when she wanted to get wet, she used the highway as a slippin' slide!
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?
Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
What did Connor Lys Clark say to Karl Kassulke? "I love bridges!"
What did the helicopter say?
Helicopter: "Kobe!"
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car? I love you, you're the night!
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
He was stuck in the crack.
I'm in school right now, but I'm on an airplane.