Transportation jokes
I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.
Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.
I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
Why don't rappers use the subway?
Because they don't want to miss their next rhyme.
What has 10 wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
"Today was the worst day ever." "Why?" Because my ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
Why did the kid cross the road?
He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home?
🏡 night time and I can drive to the car tomorrow night.
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!
I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.
What did a car say hi to?
It said hi to the school.
Which train is loaded with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train.
What road goes all the way to the sky? A highway.
What do you call a banana driving a car?
A banana car.
What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.
What is long, yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.