Transportation jokes
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
Why did the plane crash in the ocean? Because the pilot saw steward Undercut!
Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?
Doctor: The morgue.
Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!
Doctor: And we're not there yet!
Anyone seen these lately?
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
What's the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
One day, Billy cow wandered off to the railroad tracks where his mother always told him not to go. His mother asked him where he had gone when he got home. He replied that he was just going for a graze. His neighbor later told his mother he had saw him at the railroad tracks. What would you call Billy cow now?
Ground Beef.
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?
Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."
"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.
"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."
The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"
The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"
I almost got run over by a car.
For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get ran over by a truck.
When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.
Why did Sally decide to fly to school?
She couldn't drive.
There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.
There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.
Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.
How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?
- Pokémon