Transportation jokes
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage.
I lost the case.
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
What road goes all the way to the sky? A highway.
Why can’t Indian women drive?
They’re too used to riding their camels.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.
Where do sick boats go? The dock!
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
Call me an elevator, because I let people down.
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
How does the zebra cross the road?
The zebra crossing.
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.