Call me an elevator, because I let people down.
How does the zebra cross the road?
The zebra crossing.
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
Me dozing off while driving.
Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.
A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
Why did the plane cross the road? To get to the other tower.
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.
Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.
What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?
Hot Wheels.
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?
Because it was disabled.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
Did you know if you give a guy a plane ticket, he flies once, but if you push him out of a plane, he flies for the rest of his life.
