Transportation jokes
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.
Where do sick boats go? The dock!
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
Memes
A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
Me dozing off while driving.
Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
Call me an elevator, because I let people down.
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
How does the zebra cross the road?
The zebra crossing.
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.