Transportation jokes
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.
Where do sick boats go? The dock!
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
Memes
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
How does the zebra cross the road?
The zebra crossing.
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
Call me an elevator, because I let people down.
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.
Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.