Transportation jokes
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Really, there is an answer, and he never made it across, so...
All these jokes are all plane.
When they were going around giving out brains and you thought they were saying "train," so you said, "No thanks, I’ll take the next one!" 🤣
Why did the cow cross the road? To go to the moooooovies! Nyahahahahahahahahaha!
Why did the suicidal person cross the road? He was waiting for a car.
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.
You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
What do you call a helicopter, elephant, and rhino?
Hellephino (Hell if I know)
McDonald's has a drive through.
Twin Towers has a fly through.
Yo mama so fat, that when she gets in a monster truck, it becomes a low-rider!
It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.
The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!
I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"
She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"
I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"
What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human can walk and you can drive.
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
What's the difference between an orange?
A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.
The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."
Why do you pay cash for the metro train in Newcastle upon Tyne?
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"