Worst Jokes Ever
My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."
Why do orphans eat their cereal dry? Their dad hasn’t come back with the milk.
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
OWWWWWWWWWWW I JUST GOT A CUT ON MY BUTT. Oh wait, that’s always been there.
If an orange is called an orange, why isn’t a lemon called a yellow?
Yo mama so fat that she broke your computer!
lol
What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?
Milkshake.
What is green and blue?
Grass and the sky.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Who the f**k disliked my "yo mama" jokes? Comment now, b*tch!
Donald Trump secretly admires Joe Biden. How do I know?
He attempts to imitate "Sleepy Joe" by falling asleep during his court cases and during part of the Republican National Convention!
Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles.
Your hairline goes so far back, the dinosaurs saw it before you did.
Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.
Guy: I don't, I see your mom.
I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.
What do you call a racist crow?
Jim.