Worst Jokes Ever
What is a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
Yo mama so dumb, she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."
"What was your first impression on him?"
"I told him, she calls me daddy too."
Your forehead is so big your inner thoughts echo.
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.
Gravity sure is fast.
I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...
Your forehead is so big it gets home before you do.
How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror.
Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."
Why can't Asians play cricket? They'll eat the bat.
Where do cows get their medicine?
At the farmacy.
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.
Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared of being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home, so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
Dark humor is like water. Some people get it, some people don't.
I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus, and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection..." But she did.
Call me Willma, will my balls fit ya mouth?