Worst Jokes Ever
Why is there a big old gay parade on one of the first days of summer?
Pride always cometh before the fall.
The real reason women are always cold is because they’re not in front of a stove or an oven. So, naturally, when they leave the habitat, they need to have two blankets.
Bitches be like, "Read the room."
What genre is that in?
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
What did the Twin Towers get when they ordered an extra large pepperoni pizza?
When the pizza man got there, all they got was plane.
What is one plus one?
It's TOO hard!
What is the difference between gross and kinky according to a Canadian?
Using a toothpick to remove human feces between your teeth after licking another person's ass is gross, but performing a blowjob on a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich, with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise, is kinky.
What does LMAO mean? Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.
Friend: I don't know.
Me: A black market.
I saw a kid crying in the corner of the room and I said, "Are you OK? Where are your parents?" and he started crying even more.
I love working in an orphanage.
What do you call Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
The world's first microwaves.
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell, not heaven?
Because there is a stairway to heaven, but there is not one to hell.
Yo mama's so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed.
Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.
Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.
What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?
America’s Funniest Home Videos.
(lol)
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang the picture.
What is an army member's top drink?
WARter.
There will be no school shooter joke today in honor of the 10 people killed in the Colorado grocery store shooting. R.I.P.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile.
And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"
Life's full of ups and downs :D <3