I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.
Worst Jokes Ever
My dog is pregnant. I'm gonna be a... I don't know?
Ohhh, an owner.
I was raped by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.
Yo mama is so skinny, she can dodge raindrops.
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
Do you know Putin?
Put in these balls in your mouth.
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet.
He scares the shit out of it.
I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.
Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock?
Because it’s a little meteor.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
Because they don't want to be mistaken as feminists.
What do you call an Asian prostitute?
Suck Mi Dong.
Why are mountains always tired? Because they don't Everest.
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
Because they’ve already lost 2 towers.
What did me and my uncle call hide and seek? Naked and afraid.
