Worst Jokes Ever
What instrument do people like to listen to while having sex?
A sex-a-phone.
A Chinese wise man once said, "ching chong ling long ting tong," which means, "keep striving in life."
Teacher: What is a cow?
Kid: Meat.
Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?
Kid: Eggs.
Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?
Kid: Homework.
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺
Nessie is dying.
I wrote a song about tortillas...
Actually, it's more of a wrap.
You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.
What is the country that is always in a rush? Russia.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.
Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.
Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...
Bloody seamen.
What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?
"Kinder Egg surprise."
What did they find in Paul Walker's glovebox?
His head and shoulders.
I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.
Interfischl
Happy
Apple
Tea
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!
Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.
Hudididada hada dudo
Hudididada hada du energy
Hudididada hada dudo
Hudididada hada ah ah ah ah ah BOP
....energy
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead because of you.
Actually, not because of you... because of your face.
What is the worst thing to do at a funeral?
The corpse.