Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."
Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
They're both accidents.
Yo mama's so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
I love you like my cuts.
Deeply.
My pencil sharpener when I bleed:
And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry peeling onions!
What makes sad people jump? Bridges.
Your mama so ugly that even Rick Astley had to give her up.
I ran over three disabled kids.
"Cripple kill."
Q: Do you know why black people have nightmares?
A: Because we shot the last one who had a dream.
A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. (Titanic sinks.)
How can you tell if your wife is dead? -- The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up.
What joke do you tell an orphan?
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not your parents.
I saw a little kid on their bike before. So I ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.
I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
My grandad was shocked to learn that lightning can strike in the same place twice.
I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
