Worst Jokes Ever
I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.
Why does Michael Jackson like to shop at Walmart?
Little boys' pants are half off!
Why are history teachers always women? Because they like to bring up the past.
My crush: OMG, my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.
I think God is cool with abortion.
After all, he did kill his only son.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
If you are depressed, eat Panera Bread. It is so yummy yum yyum yum yum yum.
Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas From the bottom of my heart.
Where do you order nonbinary pizza?
Little xe/xyrs.
What gives you the power to walk through a wall?
A door.
I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why do orphanages give out free phones?
So you can press the home button.
Orphan: Am going to see my mom in the kitchen because they are always in there.
Orphan: Realizes.
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
You smell like tap water and cornflakes.
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.
Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof.
Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.
Them: You're ugly.
Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 1800s?
Master.
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 2000s?
Coach.