Worst Jokes Ever
Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.
Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
I've realized that suicide would solve all my problems... if I could just get the right people to try it.
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns.
Roses are red, potato chips are savory...
The United States prison system is legalized slavery.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry peeling onions!
Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways, wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes.
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
what is the fastest country? iran.
Yo mama so ugly, she went to the bathroom and scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?
Honey, I'm home!
Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."
What do you call an emo filming their suicide?
America's Funniest Home Videos.
I feel bad for the people who died in 2001. Those poor terrorists died doing their job.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a frog?
One jumps in ponds, the other leaps over the border. :)
The number 13? Not on my watch!
Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?
A microtransaction.
Do you know about the new movie Disney made just for cancer kids? It's called Finding Kemo.
Dad: Son, who do you want to marry when you grow up?
Son: A ugly girl.
Dad: Why not a pretty girl?
Son: A pretty one might run away.
Dad: So an ugly one might too.
Son: Yeah, but who cares?