Worst Jokes Ever
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous.
Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂
I forgot the joke.
Ball so hard! 😂🤣
Your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using Microsoft Paint.
The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.
The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels,” he said. "Impressive," said the manager.
The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”
The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said, “It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!”
Kidnapping is just surprise adoption.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
My poem, roses are red, violets are blue. I will die very soon. 🔪
This homeless lady called me ugly, so I told her, "Okay, then I'm going home."
Why is that kid walking like that? Oh, he's an alter boy.
Who is the only person time waits for? Nun.
I wish my lawn was emo. Then it would cut itself.
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed.
I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?
Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?
Because they always like to come in a little behind.
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."