Worst Jokes Ever
I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
Any game: "Are you a boy or a girl?"
Non-binary people: *cries*
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
Donkeys are cool.
What is the smartest month?
April - No one can fool it.
Why did the astronaut return to Earth?
She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
Little Johnny tried phone sex, but the holes were too small.
Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.
Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.
Patient to doctor: "Will I be ok, Doc?"
Doctor: "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now."
Patient: "I don't do that astrology stuff."
Doctor: "Nor me. My thermometer just broke."
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.
Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”
How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
No means no, but if you use chloroform, it’s a guaranteed yes.
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.
What did the orphan say to the crippled man?
I suffer from crippling depression.