Worst Jokes Ever
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
Chuck Norris can drift with a horse.
Did you hear about the guy who got his left side chopped off?
Well, he’s all right now!
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
Do you want to play Titanic?
When I say iceberg, you go down on me.
9 out of 10 Americans are stupid... I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"
Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Whenever my grandparents apologize, I say "forgive and forget". They are really obedient.
What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.
Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Your mom isn't here because she doesn't love you.
The depressed kid getting bullied.
The bully: "You are useless."
The depressed kid: "I know."
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
What do you call an Asian prostitute?
Suck Mi Dong.
Raaj went up to his mom and said, "I bet you 10 dollars I can disappear." Then he turned off the lights.
What has 4 wheels, 2 legs, and loves his shoulder?
Stephen Hawking.
While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.