Worst Jokes Ever

Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?

It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.

"Did you go to the light show?"

"Yeah, it was lit."

Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?

Because he’s a fungi.

My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.

What do you call a group of black people in a shed?

Antique farm equipment.

Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.

Dad: Would you like to talk about it?

Son: Sure.

Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.

Son: I can't, my butt hurts.

What do you call a homeless Hitler?

A roofless dictator.

My initials are K.M.C.

Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".

Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.

I’m writing an autobiography.

Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?

A: The Blackhole.

What is an orphan's family tree?

A stump.

Here's a sex joke.

What's the best part of having sex with 28 year olds? There's 20 of them.

If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.

What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.

What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.

I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."

I asked an emo girl, "Do you ever get jealous of your phone when it dies?"

I like my women the way I like my coffee, and I don't drink coffee.

I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.

I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.