Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
Any game: "Are you a boy or a girl?"
Non-binary people: *cries*
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
Why did the astronaut return to Earth?
She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋
Donkeys are cool.
What is the smartest month?
April - No one can fool it.
I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
Why did the hooker quit her job?
She had a nut allergy.
How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
Little Johnny tried phone sex, but the holes were too small.
Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.
Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.
Patient to doctor: "Will I be ok, Doc?"
Doctor: "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now."
Patient: "I don't do that astrology stuff."
Doctor: "Nor me. My thermometer just broke."
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.
Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”
Why do Indians have a red dot on their head?
Because they're recording.
No means no, but if you use chloroform, it’s a guaranteed yes.
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.