Worst Jokes Ever
The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.
The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels,” he said. "Impressive," said the manager.
The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”
The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said, “It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!”
Why are Indians such good actors?
Most of them are phone scammers.
Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?
Because momma never raised no pussy.
What do you call children born from incest?
Gross Domestic Product.
What did one iceberg say to the other iceberg as the Titanic went by?
"I'd smash that."
Note to self.
When baking for the holidays, don't Google "creampies".
Google "cream pie recipes".
What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous.
Why do Indians have a red dot on their head?
Because they're recording.
Why don't North Koreans like jazz music?
Because they don't have soul.
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A stego-sore-ass.
What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.
What do you call a homeless Hitler?
A roofless dictator.
Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.
Cheap oil, no immigration, and no school shootings.
Corona did what Trump promised.
I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill, but before I did, I set his wheels on fire and called him "hot wheels."
What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?
A minor.
Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.