Worst Jokes Ever
Why do you call a man that is physically handicapped and German?
A physically handicapped bisexual man that is promiscuous and German.
What animal should wear a wig?
A bald eagle!
Two men walked into a bar, and one man asked for H20, and the other man asked for H20 too.
Only one man came out alive.
Welcome to ____ pizzeria and abortion clinic where your loss is our sauce.
My school is on fire today, and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted, "Hot Wheels!"
So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
Why does Sally have 100 sisters? She lives in an orphanage.
What fruit always feels depressed?
A blueberry.
What's the difference between a feminist and Kim Jong Un?
Kim Jong Un has rights.
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.
A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him, "Hey man, what the hell you doing?"
Blind guy says, "Just looking around."
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head?
A bullet.
In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?
Free dog food.
My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...