Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me.
The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment.
With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
You'll end up DEAD if you don't stop COFFIN!!!
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
What does a cow watch?
MooTube.
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
Q: What’s the difference between me and you?
A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
De-calf-inated.
A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and a dinosaur?
The dinosaur once existed.
Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?
Because he kept on running out of the pen.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.
People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
One man's trash is another man's treasure.
Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you were adopted.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...
The steaks were pretty high.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it got mugged.
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.