Worst Jokes Ever

Place a man in a morgue, he'll try to leave.

Place a doctor in a morgue, he'll go to work.

Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he'll stay happy for a week.

6:30 has to be the best time, hands down.

What do women and airplanes have in common?

A cockpit.

So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."

My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."

Yo mama so poor she walked into an elevator and thought it was a mobile home.

What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?

Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.

I hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding.

What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.

Can February march? -- No, but April may.

Yo mama so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."

A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."

Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jack could eat her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c*** because Jill's real name is Randy.

Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.

An Irish-man walks out of a bar.

What did the downs kid get on his math test??

Drool.

I like my women how I like my wine.

14 years aged and locked in a cellar.

Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?

While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.

Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were on a falling airplane. There were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world,” so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually there are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”