Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a pig that does karate?
PORK-CHOP
My favorite joke is my life.
Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.
Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."
And the Lord said onto John, "Come forth to receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
I will always remember my uncle's last words, "What's the shovel for?"
Why is North Korea so good at Geometry?
Because they have a supreme ruler.
Stephen Hawking is so lucky to go to heaven.
Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.
I am the Lorax. I speak for trees. I have the high ground, and I will cut off your knees.
What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
Why did God make men?
Because you can't teach a vibrator how to mow the lawn...
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
Location is in London by the way.
One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money.
His friend: "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
When I hired a Asian detective to see if my wife was cheating on me, I got this letter:
Mr. Wong - I see he, so I climb up tree. He knock on door and she let him in. She talks to him, he talks to she. He undresses she, she undresses he. She plays with he, he plays with she. I play with me, I fall out tree, I no see... No fee.