Worst Jokes Ever
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.
Women should be allowed to leave the kitchen... to clean the rest of the house.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks.
I didn't want to interrupt her.
What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.
What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?
An erection.
I'm better than you in every single way... I even have an extra chromosome.
What do french fries 🍟 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
Named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I can say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.
A guy goes to see his psychiatrist dressed only in bubble wrap. When he gets there, he asked the psych, "Can you please help me?"
The psych says, "No, I'm sorry, I can clearly see your nuts."
Spongebob is yellow, and he can't drive.
Must be Asian.
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.