Worst Jokes Ever
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale
Why couldn’t the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?
Because of his short cummings.
What did Earth say to the other planets?
"You guys have no life!"
What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.
What's the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies?
My boner.
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
When a school shooter walks to the intercom and plays Pumped Up Kicks.
Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.
A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"
The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"
Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.
His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."
I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
Rizz,
Are you a biographer? Cause I picture us together.
Can I take a picture of you for I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
No pen, no paper, you still draw my attention.
You know what I hate about math? They always talk about x and y, but not about u and i.
Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.
Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with.
I can see my future in your forehead.
I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking.
But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?
I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.
The priest is in jail now.
[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"
[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0