Worst Jokes Ever
What does a house wear?
A dress.
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.
Someone at school judged my grammar.
I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
I was always poked and told at weddings your next...
So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
Running, JK rolling!
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”
Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
Why was Hitler bad at math?
He could only count to nein.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
Eileen.
Yo mama so fat, she wears Orion's belt!
What's the hardest part of riding a scooter?
Telling your parents you are gay.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
Digging stuff up is too hard.
I guess necrophilia isn’t for everybody.
Many years of sex in the dark.
The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"
The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Microchips.
It's funny that everyone is depressed, like, I mean:
Bullys are depressed.
Nerds are depressed.
Bad girls/boys are depressed.
Kind humans are depressed.
"'There is no God.' - Stephen Hawking (2011)
'There is no Stephen Hawking.' - God (2018)"
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.