Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the best time to commit suicide?
8 a’glock in the morning.
My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.
What is a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it sure as hell ain't plain.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
I walked in on my dad fucking my little brother. I don't know what was worse: the fact that he was fucking my brother, or the fact that the abortion clinic let my parents take the fetus home....
Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.
His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
How did the computer get out of the house?
He used windows.
when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty, he was pretty shocked...
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Heads and Shoulders?
You want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. You want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. You want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was the next door neighbor.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"
So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"
Where do animal does Russian milk come from?
"Moscows".
For sale: Dead canary.
Not going cheep.
Nevermind, it's retarded.
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
Why should you be wary of stairs? -- Because they are always up to something.
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.
A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”