Worst Jokes Ever
I will always remember my uncle's last words, "What's the shovel for?"
Why is North Korea so good at Geometry?
Because they have a supreme ruler.
Stephen Hawking is so lucky to go to heaven.
Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.
I am the Lorax. I speak for trees. I have the high ground, and I will cut off your knees.
What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
Why did God make men?
Because you can't teach a vibrator how to mow the lawn...
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.
People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
When I hired a Asian detective to see if my wife was cheating on me, I got this letter:
Mr. Wong - I see he, so I climb up tree. He knock on door and she let him in. She talks to him, he talks to she. He undresses she, she undresses he. She plays with he, he plays with she. I play with me, I fall out tree, I no see... No fee.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
what do you call a chicken who crossed the road?........suicidal.
I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."