Time jokes
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
Your hairline goes so far back that it had dinner with Jesus.
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
It took me 9.11 seconds to realize.
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
Memes
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.
Who is older than the Twin Towers?
Billy Bob the 1th. He was older than the Twin Towers. He was born 3 minutes before the Twin Towers and is still alive today.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don’t have a “mother’s” or “father’s” day!
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.
There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.
Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don’t have mothers and Father’s Day!
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes time to put you under.
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.
Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.