Time jokes
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
What do u call an Asian that was born at the wrong time?
Wrong тайминг.
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
Why do orphans only have 362 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mothers', Fathers', and Family Day!
Memes
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
"Fuckin blakfellas be drunk all the time," slurred Barry McKenzie over his tenth pint of guiness.
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.
I have a fish that can breakdance, but only for 20 seconds and only once.
The next time I knock on your door, I'll hit you instead of the door.
Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.
Son: Okay, I'll do it!
5 hours later...
Son: I'm done!
Dad: I lied.
Son: So did I!
Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.
I told an orphan there were 363 days in a year.
Do you know what my favorite time of day is?
6:30, hands down.
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.