Time jokes

I told an orphan there were 363 days in a year.

Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!

Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.

Son: Okay, I'll do it!

5 hours later...

Son: I'm done!

Dad: I lied.

Son: So did I!

Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.

The next time I knock on your door, I'll hit you instead of the door.

“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.

I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”

Is your name winter? Because you’ll be cumming soon.

What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?

"Will there be seconds?"

Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?

Her sister is a real Dess-ember!

I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.

He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.

How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?

What is the best joke of all time?

Feminism.

I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.

What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?

For me, life.

Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

Yo mama so old.

Her first Christmas... was the first Christmas!

Why do orphans become criminals?

So they can become wanted for once.

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

I wanted to make a joke about clocks, but I got no time for that.