If you're ever bored, try scaring the shit out of an Asian to see their eyes open for the first time.
Lost my virginity to a down syndrome the other day.... only cause I wanted my first time to be special...
A white dad,a priest and a rhabi all run out a burning school and the dad says âwhat about the kidsâ and the rhabi replyâs to him saying âfuck the kidsâ and the priest says âthink we got enough timeâ
Teacher: Great! Youâre studying in break time! Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.
OK son", he says. It's as easy as counting to 5.
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4".
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sort of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention. Next day the kid went to the state tower, and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dads asks his son for a second time: " Son! why are you doing this?" the son replies: "You told me to aim up high".
my friend was on wheelchair......he committed suicide yesterday, I remember when i met him last time he told us a good joke and i appreciated him and i told him to become stand up comedian.
Why canât Indians play football...... cause every time they take a corner they make a shop
Knock knock,
Whos there
Stop
Stop who
Stop posting stupid orphan jokes that have been posted on this site 10 times before
one time the quite kid hacked the speakers in a school next thing you know it pumped up kicks by Foster The People starts playing
My brother is ugly one time he stuck his head out the window, the police arrested for mooning
My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Some times I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.
Why don't Indians play soccer? -Coz every time they get a corner, they build a shop on it.
Today there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there. When he was done, he had realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didnât have time to wash his hands. So he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. âTimmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?â Timmy replied, âOh, itâs because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.â Timmyâs mother glared at him with disbelief. âTimmy, I donât believe you. Now open your hand!â Timmy did so and opened his hand. âSee, mother? I said youâd scare the shit out of him!â
Next time at walmart I'm going to scan my wrist they are basically barcodes
Ok so I know this is not a joke but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism your are still amazing you are lovely in every way and if people bully you don't lisn because they are wrong you are cute and I know how it feels I have ADHD and I get bullied a lot but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true people with autism stay strong you got this I will be your friend by heart Evan if it's not by person
I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"
A man is consoling his nine year old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted,
"You need to be more careful" he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
Lemme just say one thing:
Depression is not funny. 2 of my best friends have it and its actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. Its really not funny to joke about depression.
Scoucer at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer by what time is it mate? American replys thats a mad accent were are you from ? Scoucer says liverpool american oh what state is that in? Scoucer looks around and says about the same state as this mate but what time is it?
