(on thirteenth birthday) Girl: Ma, why did papa leave? Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
are you a red light because i stop every time i see you
Life is like a box of chocolates it doesn’t last long for people
you know what pun is used for waist? nothing. you'll find nothing. it's just a waist of time.
A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left." The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her? I really hit the mother lode with you.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What did mommy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Producer: we need to stop testing out products on animals. CEO: shapoo companies do it all the time Fairchild republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt
My family is lucky I was born so smart, every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
I wold tell you a time travel joke but you did not like it
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left? Doctor: Ten. Man: Weeks? Months? Days? Doctor Nine, eight, seven...
if i had a dollar for every time you said something smart id be broke
The time is 9:11, time to put your phones on airplane mode.
(Okay, actually improvised this time.)
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
They say during sex you burn offas many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds
What time do baby’s get dirty? Play time
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking, Stephen walking
