Time

Time jokes

Jesus

Why did Jesus create the Devil?

He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.

Twin Towers

Who is older than the Twin Towers?

Billy Bob the 1th. He was older than the Twin Towers. He was born 3 minutes before the Twin Towers and is still alive today.

Orphan

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?

Because they don’t have a “mother’s” or “father’s” day!

Girlfriend

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

Life

POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.

Body

There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.

Orphan

One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.

Orphan

Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year?

Because they don’t have mothers and Father’s Day!

Kid

Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?

Kids: Because you're a psycho path.

Present

Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

Anesthesia

What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

The anesthesia takes time to put you under.

Sister

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

Midnight

It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.

Age

Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.

Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Masturbation

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.

Man

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

Sandpaper

What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?

“What in the world did I just read?”