Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
What month has 28 days?
I wanted to make a joke about clocks, but I got no time for that.
A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
It took me 9.11 seconds to realize.
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.