Time jokes
POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.
Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don’t have mothers and Father’s Day!
There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.
Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.
Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
Do you know what my favorite time of day is?
6:30, hands down.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
I bought a belt made of clocks.
It was a waist of time.