Time jokes
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
Who is older than the Twin Towers?
Billy Bob the 1th. He was older than the Twin Towers. He was born 3 minutes before the Twin Towers and is still alive today.
Why do orphans become criminals?
So they can become wanted for once.
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
It took me 9.11 seconds to realize.
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.
Yo mama so old.
Her first Christmas... was the first Christmas!
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"
I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.
A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."
I wanted to make a joke about clocks, but I got no time for that.
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
Do you know what my favorite time of day is?
6:30, hands down.
Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
Your forehead is so big you can headbutt my face and chest at the same time.
🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵
C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
Gotta dive and cry some more.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.
Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.