Time jokes
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
They said time heals all wounds, well, I broke your watch.
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.
Do you know what my favorite time of day is?
6:30, hands down.
Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
Memes
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.
🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵
C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
Gotta dive and cry some more.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.
Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes time to put you under.
Why do orphans become criminals?
So they can become wanted for once.
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!
I wanted to make a joke about clocks, but I got no time for that.
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"
I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.
"Fuckin blakfellas be drunk all the time," slurred Barry McKenzie over his tenth pint of guiness.
The next time I knock on your door, I'll hit you instead of the door.
What do u call an Asian that was born at the wrong time?
Wrong тайминг.