Time jokes

🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵

C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

Gotta dive and cry some more.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.

Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.

Why’s BBC called BBC?

The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-

Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?

Friend: What?

Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.

Your forehead is so big you can headbutt my face and chest at the same time.

Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?

Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.

Who is older than the Twin Towers?

Billy Bob the 1th. He was older than the Twin Towers. He was born 3 minutes before the Twin Towers and is still alive today.

Why do orphans become criminals?

So they can become wanted for once.

Yo mama so old.

Her first Christmas... was the first Christmas!

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

It took me 9.11 seconds to realize.

Why did Jesus create the Devil?

He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.

Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.

Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?

Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.

Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

What’s the difference between a dog and parents?

If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.

I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!

Leave a like if you LOL at this joke!

What month has 28 days?

Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.

You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...

Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...