Time jokes
It took me 9.11 seconds to realize.
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.
Your forehead is so big you can headbutt my face and chest at the same time.
Memes
đ”Penaldo Thrillsđ”
Câmon câmon turn the VAR on.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
Gotta dive and cry some more.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
âTil I Hit the floor and dive alot.
Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
Donât feel bad about this day because thereâs a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...
Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...
Whyâs BBC called BBC?
The dudeâs shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
Whatâs the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
What month has 28 days?
Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.
I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!
Leave a like if you LOL at this joke!
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."