Time jokes

Dawn rises on the Serengeti, and she has no idea as to how she got there.

Why is 2020 the worst year? Because COVID-19!

When is the last time you picked up the phone?

Like, if you hate wearing a mask.

Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!

True story by the way.

Parent: Have you seen your sister?

Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.

Good Morning, Everyone! Have an amazing day!

R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.

I did have a good [time].

Hi! I love that you love a good time of my day.

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

Time for a random Terraria joke.

Q: Why did the guide die at his house?

A: The player dropped his doll in the lava.

(WALL OF FLESH HAS AWOKEN) :| Oh crap!

Which flies cannot be seen?

Time flies.

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

Random guy: Come on, Bin Laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK, I'll leave.

Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.

I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.

How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.

What time is it when you can walk home from school today and walk?

Hi 👋 I love 💗 you walk in and out the door 🚪 night. I did not have time today. I was just a little bit and I had to walk home from home after dinner. I

Two Timetravers walk into a bar...

...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."