Time jokes
I poo 11 times a day.
Every time I make a 9/11 joke, it bombs.
Your hairline is so far back my grandpa said he had a glimpse of it in the 1960s.
If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (Alphabet Lore), I would be rich.
Mummy, how was I born?
Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."
What's the only time a Pentagon has four sides? When a plane intercepts into it.
I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
Your mama is so fat, by the time I swerved to miss her with the car, I ran out of gas.
Yo momma is so old, her birthday's expired.
"What time is it?"
"Daytime."
Man from 2001 just called. They want a tower back.
Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
What goes up but never comes down?
I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
Your hairline is so bad, it goes back in time!
Today is the day, time for more jokes!
I swear bro, this time I don't want any jokes on 9/11. Like people actually died, like that shit is just plane wrong. 💀
Why can’t orphans learn about ancient times?
Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why was 10 scared because it was in the middle of 9/11?