Why did the rapper sit on the clock?
He wanted to keep it real with TIME.
If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!
I used to think 11/11 was mistakenly 9/11.
Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?
Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the concert?
Because he wanted to spit BARS on time
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?
He’s just Biden his time.
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
Why was the rapper always on time?
Because they had MAD FLOW
My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.