Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.
It’s all about execution.
Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.
It’s all about execution.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
What should we want?
Racecars.
When should we want them?
NEOWWWWWWWWWWWM!
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?
Me time.
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."