Time jokes

Teacher: Where's your homework?

Student: At home...

Teacher: What's it doing there?

Student: Having a better time than me.

Have you ever been eight before?

You were between 7 and 9.

What is always moving but we never see it walk?

Time! Hahahaha!

you.

What ended in 1999? 1998.

This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.

But I realized I can't see him. LOL!

This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).

My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).

We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"

A kid walks into the classroom on time.

Yo mama so far that when she walks outside at 8 a.m., it becomes midnight all over again.

Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship, and I don't have time for you, ASAP, daughter, daughter, or your mother, or your call, or your choice of choice.

A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"

I was going to tell you a cow joke...

But it's pasture bed time.

Vagina jokes aren't funny.

Most of the time.

What do you call a wife who knows where her husband is at all times?

A widow.

Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."

As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.

Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.

Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.

The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."

A time traveler walks into a bar.

What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."