Time jokes
you.
What ended in 1999? 1998.
This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.
But I realized I can't see him. LOL!
This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).
My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).
We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"
A kid walks into the classroom on time.
Yo mama so far that when she walks outside at 8 a.m., it becomes midnight all over again.
Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship, and I don't have time for you, ASAP, daughter, daughter, or your mother, or your call, or your choice of choice.
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"
I was going to tell you a cow joke...
But it's pasture bed time.
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
What do you call a wife who knows where her husband is at all times?
A widow.
Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.
The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
One time, a cow saved my life.
It was bovine intervention.
Can February march? -- No, but April may.
Who can shave 20 times a day and still have a beard? -- A barber.